id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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