My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
