1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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