I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
