is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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