your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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