I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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