Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
