is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
