you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do vagina's smell?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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