I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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