Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
