It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
