I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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