This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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