I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
