Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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