That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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