I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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