Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
