I heard we made out
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
