I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
