But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
