i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
