Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
