I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
3 2 1 whiskey
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
