What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
