What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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