White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
