She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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