doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
