DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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