These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
do herpes really smell.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
