Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
