hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My breasts were aching with rage.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
