yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
