you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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