I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
