I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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