Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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