Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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