Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We have so much sex to catch up on
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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