gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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