I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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