I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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