I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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