I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
