GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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