and you said cock pushups were impossible
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
