It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
