Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
