dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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