Kiss
Puke
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
