I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
